Surviving The Twilight Marathon

Robert Pattinson said it best, “Twilight fans are on the verge of being clinically insane.” No words can be so true given the amount of hours Twihards dedicate to not only the films but the stars that make up the pop culture phenomenon.

When word broke that there would be another “Twilight” movie marathon leading up to the premiere of the finale installment I knew I had to purchase a ticket. I mean this literally is a once in a lifetime event and it’s the LAST film of the series; it’s no question that I had to go all out. So in order to prep, mind, body and soul, we need to go cold turkey; slowly ween ourselves from Twi so I offer up these tips to survive 10 plus hours of non stop “Twilight” come November 15.

• Keep eating food that requires forks to a minimal
• Don’t drink any red liquids
• Don’t go into the sun unless absolutely necessary
• If the film comes on FX or Showtime you must turn immediately
• Do butt exercises so your bum won’t go numb in the theater
• Don’t be like a vampire; get plenty of rest the night before and load up on Red Bull to stay awake throughout the day
• Don’t wear too much Black
• Avoid things that strike adrenaline rushes, i.e, cliff diving, dirt bike riding, hoping on motorcycles with strangers
• Stay away from prints, especially imprinted ones
• Steer clear of all Volvos
• Purchase all peacoats after November 16th
• I know they are good for you but absolutely NO APPLES
• It’s Fall for chrissakes, put away the cut off jean shorts

If this is just too much to take and you feel yourself going to through withdraw; limit yourself to ONE song per soundtrack each day. Hopefully this will be able to hold you off until the mega marathon on November 15. I can’t WAIT! Can you?